Thursday, April 16, 2015

Our Names?

Most women these days would agree that the inclusion of "Ms" on official documents in 1972 has been beneficial. But why exactly?

The title "Ms" was introduced as an alternative to "Miss" and "Mrs", thereby giving women a third option and allowing them to keep their marital status private. The word "Miss" originated from the word "mistress," and has long been the title of unmarried women. The main arguments against the use of both "Miss" and "Mrs" is that it requires women to state whether or not they are married, therefore being obliged to disclose this personal information whilst men do not even need to mention their marital status. 

Furthermore it is easy to misuse the titles "Miss" and "Mrs". That is to say that calling a grown woman "Miss" can be seen as demeaning and patronising, whilst some women feel offended if they are called "Mrs" because this suggests they are old. 

This is not something unique to our culture either, the idea that women must identify themselves in relation to a man is very widespread.

Take the example of France, where, until as recently as 2012, unmarried women were forced to identify themselves as "Mademoiselle" on all official forms. The word "Mademoiselle" originates from the words "Ma Demoiselle", translating as "My Lady".  However the word also "harks back to the term 'oiselle', which means 'virgin' or 'simpleton'." (The Mail) The very idea that an unmarried women should be less worthy and therefore referred to in terms of her 'simplicity' is quite shocking to think of in the 21st Century. Moreover, despite the fact that "Mademoiselle" is no longer included on official documents it is still widely used throughout France in both everyday speech and literary texts. It is perhaps unsurprising that so many people oppose the use of this title which highlights how ingrained male supremacy is in our current society, despite people's best efforts to make a change. In British schools for example, male teachers are called "Sir" whilst female teachers are called "Miss". This may go back to the time when any working woman would give up her career upon marrying, thereby meaning that there would rarely be a teacher who was, indeed, a "Mrs". However, it still seems to me that these two titles infer inequality, an especially damaging idea to expose so many children to from such a young age.

The fact that the terms "Miss" and "Mademoiselle" are often perceived as flattering is also interesting. when some French women were interviewed and asked their opinions on the term "Mademoiselle", many answered in a similar way to "Magali, thirty, French teacher and the mother of two, married" who said: "I am flattered to be called ‘mademoiselle’ in place of ‘madame’. It rejuvenates you." (The New Yorker). This brings up the widespread view that women (and sometimes men as well) are too often cast aside in their old age. our current society places so much value on youth and vigour that we seem to overlook the wisdom and experience older, more mature people can offer us. Therefore the fact that so many women are flattered by being mistaken for younger than they are alludes to another issue which is how our society views ageing. However, although there is more to say on this I will leave it for another time. 

In conclusion, despite that many people disregard the existence of "Ms" as being of much importance, viewing it as a petty matter and thinking that we have more significant things to focus on, the word, although small, represents a much larger battle. Namely the battle to allow women to be regarded as equals to men, for, regardless of the laws in place, our society remains one which often suppresses women. It is subtleties like the box we tick on a form that can pave the way for a more just and equal future. For anyone who thinks the fight is over, battle has been won, I urge them to think again. We have made great progress, but we are by no means finished. 

Written by Lili

Picture Credit: Ellen










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